Thursday, December 22, 2005
The JCB Song
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Christmas Voodoo
If I didn't have gifts to get, I'd have stayed indoors. Why was I out in this mess? Why was anyone out in the rain? Local and tourists huddled under whatever awnings that could be found. Umbrellas bent under impressive gusts of wind. As I darted between rain drops, I mourned the loss of my beaten umbrella.
Maybe, just maybe, Santa will have seen me do a good deed and get me a new umbrella. It was nothing really. I protected a stranger's baby stroller from getting soaked as it sat outside a dripping awning. I saw it getting wet, and was able to easily cover it. The look I received from the owner's face when she saw me do this was an unexpected moment of recognition and gratitude. Call it common courtesy. Or was it something more? Could it be "Holiday Spirit"?! Ahem. If I sound doubtful, please forgive. But it's all too easy to see behind the curtain, especially during the holidays. We all know the commerce game: Businesses want your money and do nearly anything to get it from you. They provide lush colorful interiors that practically hypnotize you as you shop; whispering encouragingly, softly in your ear, until the purse strings are loose and you've gone over your spending limit. And it's relentless; it all ceremoniously starts the earliest possible moment, the day after Thanksgiving.
But is it possible that the trumped up, strung up, marketing buzz, can actually be good? Maybe all the plastic decorations, shiny bells, twinkling garland, dazzling lights, costumed carolers, jolly soundtracks, four-story-wreaths, and seven-story-glistening-evergreens do more than just feed the Uber-sponsored Holiday Shopping Machine. Maybe all together they actually posses a magic, a mojo, a Christmas Voodoo. (Isn't that the point?) The decorations definitely create a festive vibe. But is the vibe authentic? More to the point, does it inadvertently generate good-will towards others?
I guess in my case it did. But then again, I do things like this all the time. I suppose I'm more inclined to do good deeds when I'm feeling groovy. So did I feel groovy from the XMas Voodoo? If so, how much? No doubt it was partly due to the Voodoo. If that's true, and there are others who feel groovy too, then their really is an increase in neighborly good deeds, and overall positive things happening during this season.
Stores like Macy's survive on happy consumers, but after years of snubbing Holiday Spirit, now I'm hoping that the thinly veild, fabricated spirit has a real component too. That their really is a XMas Voodoo, and it actually generates good-will toward all. Go out, feel the XMas Voodoo, and be good to each other.
(Santa if your reading this, full-sized umbrellas with curled handles are nice. ;-)
Peace and Love this holiday season.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Designed to be Used
I've redesigned my design portfolio. I've had my previous one up for
almost 2 years and it's got to be the worst presentation of myself in
the History of Promotion. I've realized that casually, I talk and
write with ease, but writing professionally about my work was making
me look like a first rate Loser. I needed to reduce (or remove) all
the unnecessary text. I also needed to revisit the overall design as
well. The design was flat, and despite its minimal approach, felt
garbled with navigation.
In this redesign, I streamlined everything. I shortened my intro text
to read simply, "Designed to be used." Which expresses my primary
goal of usability as well as encouraging employers to contact me
because I'm right for the job. And the navigation was made more
apparent and with more stylistic punch.
So take a look at the <a href="http://
www.scottborchardt.com">finished work</a>. Be honest. Tell me what
you think. I could use the feed back. Thanks.
Halloween: Why can't ghosts have babies?
Because they have "hollow weenies"! A bad joke that is fun to tell.
And I tell it every year at Halloween. The move went well. We were
sitting around drinking beers by 1pm. And after a long nap, we
rallied for the Halloween Party at Denise & Dustin's. I threw
together a priest robe, a mega afro, and groucho marx comedy
glasses. I'm not sure was it was, but it was definitely fun. Caca
was a stuntman, or a parachute jumper. She looked great, but found
out that wearing a helmet sucks. Apparently it gives everyone license
to smack your head - and it's LOUD.
Other frightful sights were: Tim as a "Conventioneer", I presume,
this is his worst nightmare. The antithesis of travel, decadence and
drawing outside the lines - all things he holds dear. Tiff was
something I dubbed a "Jap-Anime-Alien", style-ly clothes pink wig,
and the spirit to move our posse like a lynching mob in Transilvania.
Then there was a scary twisted clown. And under the wicked grin,
grimey yellow face, dingy rainbow hair, and gory blood spilled
costume I knew that it was Julio, but he was so in character, so
ready to jump and jive and squeeze his bow-tie horn, that I had to
keep remindig myself it was him. He really WAS "Jaundice the Clown"
as he called himself. There was a stunning Wood Elf, created in
impeccable detail by Petra. She handmade her costume. Nice job. She
had to correct everyone that she was a Wood Elf and not a Wood Nymph,
and schooled me on the differences. Eric and Erika made early
parenthood look easy by coming in costume WITH Amelia. Eric as Mr.
Bubble, and whose gelled hair, blue Elvis glasses, obligatory Mr.
Bubble t-shirt and bubbles got big points for biggest transformation
with the simplest execution. Erika as an 80's Hottie, hubba hubba.
April was a very good "Glenda the Good Witch". Jake and Bethany were
the cutest CaveCouple. And as if he were born for the roll, Jake used
his plastic club on everyone's head - and consequently had it taken
away from him. (The funniest part of the night may have been when
Bethany was smacking Jake on the head with the club saying "This
really, IS fun!") Elizabeth was simply elegant. Robert was the phrase
"Push the Envelope" and yes I pushed him. And last but not least,
Hostess Denise was a convincing Repunzzle, and provided an awesome
space, while Co-Host Dustin was a excellent Lawn Gnome that had us
grooving to old R&B in their living room. To everyone, I say thank
you, for being your freaky self.
Considerations of Moving in Together
The decision to move in with your sweetheart is a significant step in any realtaionship. And this decision can be motivated by many things such as practiacallity, economics, necessity and hopefully, for love . Over the years I've learned of the many considerations before moving in with your special someone and would like to share these thoughts before you decide to shack up:
#1. It is ill-advised to move in with your significant other if
economics are the primary motivator. There are better solutions.
Sure, the savings you'll have on rent is a definite perk, but it's
not worth the headaches if you can't live together peacefully.
#2. It may seem unlikely that you'll ever be in a crisis where you or your honey needs a home. But that's exactly why this situation is so tricky. In a crisis, emotions are high, and decisions must be made in haste. It's beset to avoid move-ins where it started as s a necessity. Weather from evicting landlords, life-threatening roommates, or job crisis - whatever -
this type of situation only forces the cohabitation prematurely. If you experince this situation, I recommend you make it clear it's temporary, and set a time limit on the cohabitation. One the urgency is past, decisions can be made a bit better.
#3. Lastly, don't move in due to Obvious Deal Breakers. I.e.: You hate
his mess. He can't stand her cats. You fight constantly. No matter
what you think, or hope, you can't change your lover. And moving in
with them isn't going to magically make things better or solve your
problems. In fact, it's going to add a bunch of new ones. Some things
may get easier, but most things get harder. It's no longer just you
deciding where the cereal goes, if deep down you don't like the
person your shacking with, you won't like compromising with them. And
lack of compromise is doomsday for couples.
Any of these motivator to shack might lead to a rocky and unhappy
household even for a long-term, well established couple. Moving in takes a lot
of work from both sides. Respect has to be shared. Communication
lines must be open. And compromise is essential.
Once the relationship matures naturally to the point where your both ready to move in, a move that is motivated by genuine love, then you're on the right track. Best of Luck.